Best of Joe Budden v.2: #49 Castles

joe9

Song: Castles

Album: No Love Lost

Year: 2013

Previous: not ranked

You there when it’s bright, better be there when it’s dark, you wasn’t there for the ride, don’t be there when I park

This song deals with loneliness.

“Castles” ironically isn’t anything that resembles an actual castle. The song isn’t about an over-the-top building but rather how a person feels inside a castle: rather small.

In “Castles,” Joe refers to his home as a castle with a bunch of friends acquaintances around him at all times. Whether they are living there, sleeping there or just visiting, he never is physically alone. However, inside, he is alone. When you’re lonely, you feel small.

Depression found Joe again, hence the castle metaphor.

In the summer of 2012, Joe’s house was the place to be. He was throwing dope pool parties and people were crashing at his house. From the outside, things looked great. But ecstasy was introduced and Joe relapsed after his long sobriety. If you’re a Budden fan, you know his history with drugs.

He talks about what made his castle begin to shrink.

One of those reasons where the true intentions of those acquaintances. He thought he surrounded himself with friends but they were either there for money or recognition/fame. They had intentions but not good ones. If they did, they would’ve seen Joe struggling, not being himself and helped him. Instead they focused on the lifestyle that developed that summer. They took ecstasy together but didn’t notice the effect it had on Joe. He said, “they were ruining [him].”

If they were real friends, they would’ve helped Joe. A known, former addict taking drugs? Yeah, that’s going to end up well.

How could they not know, Joe would abuse them? He once said, “he’s an addict”—for anything—not just drugs.

These “friends” didn’t care for Joe. They were using him. He provided them a place to hang out, have a good time, so when they were feeling shitty, they probably left. Which caused Joe to realize people’s true intentions. He had to cut some people off. If they weren’t willing to accompany in his darker days, why should he share his better ones?

The combination of fake friends and drugs lead Joe to a dark path of loneliness. His faith in those around him was diminishing as he developed thoughts that questioned their intentions.

His castle was crumbling.

This great life he build, and wanted to share with his peers was being taken advantage.

He was giving more than what he was getting in return.

Having so much, felt like he had nothing at all…

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