Song: Dear Diary
Album: Mood Muzik 3
“I got another side I never showed you, the side where everybody is disposable, see relationships are never a threat, ‘cause I’ll erase the history and act like we never met”
Budden let’s his feelings and thoughts spill through the pen as he metaphorically writes in his diary.
Budden’s music is therapeutic for him. It helps him cope with things. There’s not much about the man that his fans don’t know of. He shares close to everything. The things someone writes in his or her diary is often personal, secretive and for his or her eyes only, yet Budden uses the art form of music as his canvas. Rather than keeping everything inside, he allows it spill onto the canvas for everyone to hear and feel.
In this song, he shares two entries in his “diary.”
First, he speaks about a former close friend.
Budden and this former friend were close knit, almost resembling brothers. They hung out. He joined Joe in his journey through the roller coaster that is the rap world.
Everything was great in the beginning, he was cool but there was something strange about him. Joe couldn’t see it but his girlfriend did saw it early on. She tried talking to Joe about his friend’s tendencies but Joe wouldn’t understand. They fought back and forth, bickering all day and night about this dude but Joe kept coming to his friend’s defense. It took Joe a while, but he eventually saw what his girlfriend was trying to explain to him.
In the end, Joe and his former friend wanted different things. The differences between them were eventually their friendship’s downfall.
The latter part of the song is aimed at his child’s mother.
He mentions how much stress, anger, damage, pain, etc. this woman has caused. She’s hurt him in many various ways. He’s unable to speak or see his child. He can’t say hello or walk him to school. His child’s mother wants Joe to have nothing to do with the raising of their child, but she does want that child support money.
That situation frustrates Joe.
He believes she is using their son as a smoke screen to get back at him. All this has Joe wishing he never conceived his son with this woman. He knows he’s wrong for thinking that but the relationship with the mother has caused Joe to have unimaginable thoughts.